Review Type: Movie

If I were to compare this movie to the other installments, it really cannot hold a candle to those others. But, this one does what it is supposed to do. Which is throw an alley-oop to future Planet of the Apes movies. With that being said the writers took some “safe” routes to putting this film together.

Let me start by saying that Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes carried the torch from the previous films well. The CGI and cinematography was nothing short of stupendous. Everything was lush and expansive which really allowed the moviegoer to get a feel for how massive the even was that led to the current circumstances. The storyline though flat in some areas was serviceable. Where I felt Kingdom went wrong, well not necessarily wrong but this is where they played it “safe”. There were no strong lead characters. Noa came across as clever yet kind of a punk as well as soft-spoken, the king dude Proximus Caesar seemed like a Koba retread. But he was in so few scenes that you really do not check for him much. Though I did like that they gave him that fanatical slant. Overall though a strong lead was lacking, there were a wiser range of personalities on display from the apes.

By the end of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, you really do not get a sense of who will be leading what, or what is next for human and ape relations. You just know it really is not going to be good. But the playing field is as level as it has ever been in this franchise. I will be here to see what hi-jinx these pesky human cook up in the future.

Kingdom of the Planet of The Apes was an enjoyable movie going experience. If you are a fan of the franchise or a casual fan of smart primates. This one is for you. The Hood gives this one 4.75 EBTs

Quick Hits

• Baby Kong stole the show
• Why were the humans in it again?
• Couple of Com’on son moments

A successful addition to the MonsterVerse

Let’s get real the main reason one would watch this movie is to see gigantic fictional monsters fight. With that being said, I bringeth goodeth newseth. There is an abundance of Kong karnage with some quality gigantic reptilian fist o’cuffs too. As a bonus with the help of some A-1 CGI the aforementioned Kong karnage and reptilian fit o’cuffs is all up in ya face. Some folks are balking at the heavy use of CGI, but hello… Kong… Godzilla… Middle Earth… You won’t find those anywhere ‘round here. So yea they used heavy CGI. The movie is 98% CGI if I had to venture a guess. The movie does get hectic in places with a lot of “huh” or “wtf” moments. So do not go looking for any deep storyline, or well-developed characters. You will however see the return of some of the more fleshed-out characters from previous Godzilla joints like Bernie Hayes (Brian Tyree Henry), Jia (Kayless Hottel). One thing that did lightweight irritates me is how they tried to humanize Kong a bit too much. With all the cheeky and often ill-place human gestures, facial expressions, and humor. I do have a suggestion next time leave the humans out of it. I won’t spoil it by saying what I mean by that. But I am good with humans just being a footnote or collateral damage in future expansions of the MonsterVerse. Ok, ok… I know I stated the shining beacon in this film is the monster fights. But I would not be giving my readers the real if I didn’t mention how paper-thin the storyline is. I mean thin, as in frog hair thin. So if you are looking for a solid plot type of film with everything wrapped up in a pretty bow at the end, this one is not for you. Storyline aside this movie is entertaining and successfully achieves a simple mission. Which was to show big monsters fighting. So to hell with non-sensical items like a mid-movie Kong tooth extraction and replacement by a veterinarian. Yea, we won’t go there. Also, they seem to have done away with the whole Kaiju angle and are just carving out a plausible world where we just live side by side with these gigantic Titans. Also living with the fact they will destroy half our word whenever they want to stretch their legs or run into an Opp.

A solid entry into the MonsterVerse, entertaining and lengthy fight sequences, and a plot that was paper thin earn Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire a 3.75 EBTs. It is teetering on a 4 but I just cannot forgive some of the wtf moments.

Quick Hits

• Gross cooch shots
• Hella nuns
• Church + kids = always creepy

Contains Spoilers… Sorry folks,

First Omen was billed as “The most terrifying movie of the year”, I’d beg to differ. While it wasn’t horrible, First Omen was pretty bad. But it had its moments.

First off this seems more like Rosemary’s Baby meets Aliens. With the whole trial and error thing. They stuck to the source material LOOSELY and I use loosely… erm… ummm loosely. I always find it amazing when directors take dope source material and stick it up. When it stuck to the foundation, The First Omen shined. When it drifted away from the source material is representative of all the places where the movie sucked. Like the whole going to a club with a newfound convent thot to test Margaret’s (Nell Tiger Free) faith, that whole storyline was trash. Also, another deviation I did not care for is in the original Omen Damien was born from a Jackal. Which is pretty scary right? Well in this The First Omen he is born from a woman a regular woman by way of some date rape type goings on with a dude from the club that oh by PLOT TWIST, he is in on it. Also, the writers stripped all the prophecy aspects out of the whole franchise in one swipe of the pen. Then replaced it with some hare-brained scheme by a dark sector of the church to get the world back into the church by hooking Beelzebub up with some drunk chick. Since when does the Prince of Darkness need to be hooked up like some freshman at a fraternity party? I swear I was expecting to see Scooby-Doo and her Shaggy say “Zoinks” as they unmask the devil as we find out it was the maid the whole time. Yes, the story got that predictable.

The actors did shine in this one and while the execution sucked the story was aaight. I would not say this was scary in the least. But it is creepy as all get out. But then again old churches and nuns are inherently creepy. Then add some singing kids, and you ratchet up the creepy factor by at least 10 points. The CGI was kinda iffy in parts but the moody, dark cinematography was on point.

The hood gives this one 2.5 EBTs. If you are a fan of the franchise maybe wait for this one on streaming platforms. It just may piss you off.

Quick hits

Angus Cloud is Angus Cloud’n.

One giant WHAT THEE F%&*.

Be ready to be triggered.

Your lucky day isn’t really all that lucky.

The premise had potential… Major potential.

I wish someone else had picked this one up. Because it was a great idea but the execution left a lot to be desired.

This movie had all kinds of goodies that keep you engaged and on the edge of your seat. There was suspense, there action, there was gratuitous violence, there was even some racism and classism if that is your thing. Also, the acting was superb and on point. But… There were just waaaaay too many WTF moments and plot holes. I’ll try to dance around this without giving up any spoilers… Let’s just say, that even in the best of perfect situations the plans hatched during this flick would NEVER work. The decisions being made had me yelling at the screen, because, for, WHO DOES THESE THINGS! Who thinks like this? But damn this movie was hella good. I know this seems like a wishy-washy review even with the plot holes, no I mean plot craters.  I would still recommend watching this one.

Aaight my fellow Hoodlings this hood review will be a bit misleading because we are giving “Your Lucky Day” a rating of 2.75 EBTs which usually means we lightweight do not recommend checking this one out. But this 2.75 is really like a 4, but them damn plot holes…erm craters…

Review: Dune Part Two – Sand, Spice, and Sequel Shenanigans!

Alright, gather ’round, fellow desert dwellers and spice sniffers, because Dune Part Two has blasted its way back into cinemas, and let me tell you, it’s like the sandstorm of sequels we never knew we needed!

Paul Atreides is back in the hood, flexing his spice powers and smacking sandworms like they owe him money.

Now, let’s talk about the spice. It’s the stuff that makes the universe go ’round, and in Dune Part Two, it flows like… well, like spice, I guess. Zendaya’s back as Chani, the desert warrior princess with a heart of gold and a mean left hook. Seriously, she’s so badass, she makes the sandworms look like… well, big worms in the sand.

Do you wanna know who is the real MVP of Dune Part Two? The visuals! From the epic desert landscapes to the mind-blowing action sequences, this movie’s got more eye candy than a candy store on Halloween.

So, grab your crew, hit up the theater, and get ready for a ride through the dunes that’ll leave you craving more spice than a Michelin-starred chef. Dune Part Two is the bidness, my dudes. Don’t sleep on it!

The Hood gives Dune Part 2 the ever coveted 5 EBT rating!

I wanted to like it more, but…

It just seemed a bit hollow and lacking for me. I enjoyed the musical aspects of One Love, but overall the story leaves a lot on the vine. I really do not feel like I learned anything new about Bob Marley as a person nor did I feel enlightened by this story. I really felt Kingsley Ben-Adir did a great job as Bob Marley, that was until the very end and they played clips of the real Bob Marley. It was only then that I realized how much he did not resemble Bob Marley and did not capture his … ummmmm… essence I guess you can say. Which I would imagine would be a tall task for anyone, but hey this is the Hood Review, so it is what it is. Overall with what was given the cast did good. Lashana Lynch nailed her role as Rita Marley. Which was the real bright spot of the movie. But although One Love feels like it barely scratches the surface of what Mr. Marley was about and his life in general. The movie was overall enjoyable and a good watch.