Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

If I were to compare this movie to the other installments, Overall Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes cannot hold a candle to those others. But, this one does what it is supposed to do. Which is throw an alley-oop to future Planet of the Apes movies. With that being said the writers took some “safe” routes to putting this film together.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes takes place hella decades after the death of Caesar in War for the Planet of the Apes. If you have not seen War for the Planet of the Apes you can get by watching Kingdom for Planet of the Apes because they provide enough context that you can catch all drifts. But it is a good idea to be abreast of the goings on. So I suggest being caught up before going into this one.

Let me start by saying that visually Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes carried the torch from the previous films well. The CGI and cinematography was nothing short of stupendous as with all of the films in the reboot franchise (Excluding the Mark Wahlberg joint). The entire environment was lush and expansive which allowed the moviegoer to get a feel for how massive the event was that led to the current circumstances. The storyline though flat in some areas was serviceable. Where I felt Kingdom went wrong, well not necessarily wrong but this is where they played it “safe”. There were no strong lead characters. Noa came across as clever yet kind of a punk and soft-spoken. King dude Proximus Caesar seemed like a Koba retread which is a good thing. But he was in so few scenes that you do not check for him much throughout the movie. I did like that they gave him that fanatical slant. He was on Caeser’s nuts something tough. Though a strong lead was lacking, there was a wider range of personalities on display from the apes.

By the end of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, you do not know who will be leading what, or what is next for human and ape relations. You just get the feeling is not going to be good. But the playing field is as level as it has ever been in this franchise. I will be here to see what hi-jinx these pesky humans cook up in the future.

Kingdom of the Planet of The Apes is an enjoyable movie-going experience. If you are a fan of the franchise or a casual fan of smart primates. This one is for you. The Hood gives this one 4.75 EBTs

Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire

Quick Hits

A successful addition to the MonsterVerse

Let’s get real the main reason one would watch this movie is to see gigantic fictional monsters fight. With that being said, I bringeth goodeth newseth. There is an abundance of Kong Karnage with some quality gigantic reptilian fist o’cuffs too. As a bonus with the help of some A-1 CGI the aforementioned Kong Karnage and reptilian fist o’cuffs are all up in ya face. Some folks are balking at the heavy use of CGI, but hello… Kong… Godzilla… Hollow Earth… You won’t find those anywhere ‘round here. So yeah they used heavy CGI. The movie is 98% CGI if I had to venture a guess.

The movie gets hectic in places with a lot of “huh” or “wtf” moments. So do not go looking for any deep storyline, or well-developed characters. You will however see the return of some of the more fleshed-out characters from previous Godzilla joints like Bernie Hayes (Brian Tyree Henry), and Jia (Kayless Hottel). One thing that did lightweight irritate me is how they tried to humanize Kong a bit too much. With all the cheeky and often ill-place human gestures, facial expressions, and humor. I do have a suggestion next time leave the humans out of it. I won’t spoil it by saying what I mean by that. But I am good with humans just being a footnote or collateral damage in future expansions of the MonsterVerse. Ok, ok… I know I stated the shining beacon in this film is the monster fights. But I would not be giving my readers the real if I didn’t mention how paper-thin the storyline is. I mean thin, as in frog hair thin. So if you are looking for a solid plot type of film with everything wrapped up in a pretty bow at the end, this one is not for you. Storyline aside this movie is entertaining and successfully achieves a simple mission. Which was to show big monsters fighting. So to hell with non-sensical items like a mid-movie Kong tooth extraction and replacement by a veterinarian. Yea, we won’t go there. Also, they seem to have done away with the whole kaiju angle and are just carving out a plausible world where we just live side by side with these gigantic Titans. Also living with the fact they will destroy half our world whenever they want to stretch their legs or run into an Opp.

A solid entry into the MonsterVerse, entertaining and lengthy fight sequences, and a plot that was paper thin earn Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire a 3.75 EBTs. It is teetering on a 4 but I just cannot forgive some of the wtf moments.

The First Omen

Quick Hits

Contains HUGE Spoilers… Sorry folks,

First Omen was billed as “The most terrifying movie of the year”, I’d beg to differ. While it wasn’t horrible, First Omen was pretty bad. But it had its moments.

First off this seems more like Rosemary’s Baby meets Aliens with the whole trial and error thing. They stuck to the source material LOOSELY and I use loosely… erm… ummm loosely. I always find it amazing when directors take dope source material and stink it up. When they stuck to the foundation, The First Omen shined. When they drifted away from the source material is representative of all the places where the movie sucked. Like the whole going to a club with a newfound convent THOT friend to test Margaret’s (Nell Tiger Free) faith, that whole storyline was trash. Also, another deviation I did not care for is in the original Omen Damien was born from a Jackal. Which is pretty scary right? Well in this The First Omen he is born from a woman by way of some date rape type goings on with a dude from the club. Also, the writers stripped all the prophecy aspects out of the whole franchise in one swipe of the pen. They then replaced it with some hare-brained scheme by a dark sector of the church to get the world back into the church by hooking Beelzebub up with some drunk chick. Since when does the Prince of Darkness need to be hooked up like some freshman at a fraternity party? I swear I was expecting to see Scooby-Doo and hear Shaggy say “Zoinks” as they unmask the devil as we find out it was the maid the whole time. Yes, the story got that predictable.

The actors did shine in this one and while the execution sucked the story was aaight. I would not say this was scary in the least. But it is creepy as all get out. But then again old churches and nuns are inherently creepy. Then add some singing kids, and you ratchet up the creepy factor by at least 10 points. The CGI was kinda iffy in parts but the moody, dark cinematography was on point.

The hood gives this one 3 EBTs. If you are a fan of the franchise maybe wait for this one on streaming platforms. It just may piss you off.

Voyagers

Quick Hits

This is a boring version of Lord of the Flies. 

OK, what worked… 

Despite being a Lord of the Flies clone story-wise the premise was dope. Humans done up and screwed up Earth, so we are sending some genetically modified kids up into space on a 86-year mission to find another spot we can inhabit and mess up, with Colin Farrell being the only adult on board. Nothing can go wrong right? Well, everything goes wrong.

If you can get over the Lord of the Flies thing or do not know the story (Sheeesh if I never say Lord of the Flies ever again it will be too soon). The movie is aaight. The acting does drop and get rather Twilight-ish in spots. But it is a solid movie. 

The Hood gives “Voyagers” a solid 3 EBTs. 

Spaceman

Quick hits

Spaceman is a slow drip of anticipation that never quite comes.

But I guess that is the beauty of this movie. Was Hanush real? Was Jakub (Adam Sandler) trippin balls? Was it all in his mind/conscience? All of which are valid questions at the end of this one. Spaceman is a weird, artsy, thought-provoking, and drawn-out journey into the human psyche. One would be better served to watch this film while off a lil of the ol’ devil’s lettuce. Not that I am advocating for drug use, but this movie is weird. Almost like it should be watched through a kaleidoscope or some other reality-bending lens. Because whoever thought up Hanush (voiced by Paul Dano which made the character even creepier) needs to have their head looked at. Hanush is downright creepy. A big ass spider with several human-ish eyes, two octopus-like arms, and fleshy mandibles surrounding a mouth that moves as we people’s mouths do. If that description alone does not make you wanna see it. Mannnnn.

The Hood gives this trippy sci-fi, love story 4.5 EBTs. Yeah yeah I know I know I said it was drawn out. But that moody, creepy feeling helps push the anticipation levels to a point where the time just kinda slips by. I’m telling y’all it is still a good flick.

Your Luck Day

Quick hits

The premise had potential… Major potential.

I wish someone else had picked this one up. Because it was a great idea but the execution left a lot to be desired.

This movie had all kinds of goodies that keep you engaged and on the edge of your seat. There was suspense, there was action, there was gratuitous violence, there was even some racism and classism if that is your thing. Also, the acting was superb and on point. But… There were just waaaaay too many WTF moments and plot holes. I’ll try to dance around this without giving up any spoilers… Let’s say, that even in the best of perfect situations the plans hatched during this flick would NEVER work. The decisions being made had me yelling at the screen, because, for, WHO DOES THESE THINGS! Who thinks like this? But damn this movie was hella good. I know this seems like a wishy-washy review even with the plot holes, no I mean plot craters.  I would still recommend watching this one.

Aaight my fellow Hoodlings this hood review will be a bit misleading because we are giving “Your Lucky Day” a rating of 2.75 EBTs which usually means we lightweight do not recommend checking this one out. But this 2.75 is really like a 4, but them damn plot holes…erm craters…

Dune: Part Two

Review: Dune Part Two – Sand, Spice, and Sequel Shenanigans!

Alright, gather ’round, fellow desert dwellers and spice sniffers, because Dune Part Two has blasted its way back into cinemas, and let me tell you, it’s like the sandstorm of sequels we never knew we needed!

Paul Atreides is back in the hood, flexing his spice powers and smacking sandworms like they owe him money.

Now, let’s talk about the spice. It’s the stuff that makes the universe go ’round, and in Dune Part Two, it flows like… well, like spice, I guess. Zendaya’s back as Chani, the desert warrior princess with a heart of gold and a mean left hook. Seriously, she’s so badass, she makes the sandworms look like… well, big worms in the sand.

Do you wanna know who is the real MVP of Dune Part Two? The visuals! From the epic desert landscapes to the mind-blowing action sequences, this movie’s got more eye candy than a candy store on Halloween.

So, grab your crew, hit up the theater, and get ready for a ride through the dunes that’ll leave you craving more spice than a Michelin-starred chef. Dune Part Two is the bidness, my dudes. Don’t sleep on it!

The Hood gives Dune Part 2 the ever coveted 5 EBT rating!

Bob Marley: One Love

I wanted to like it more, but…

It just seemed a bit hollow and lacking for me. I enjoyed the musical aspects of One Love, but overall the story leaves a lot on the vine. I really do not feel like I learned anything new about Bob Marley as a person nor did I feel enlightened by this story. I really felt Kingsley Ben-Adir did a great job as Bob Marley, that was until the very end and they played clips of the real Bob Marley. It was only then that I realized how much he did not resemble Bob Marley and did not capture his … ummmmm… essence I guess you can say. Which I would imagine would be a tall task for anyone, but hey this is the Hood Review, so it is what it is. Overall with what was given the cast did good. Lashana Lynch nailed her role as Rita Marley. Which was the real bright spot of the movie. But although One Love feels like it barely scratches the surface of what Mr. Marley was about and his life in general. The movie was overall enjoyable and a good watch.