Quick Hits
- Gross cooch shots
- Hella nuns
- Church + kids = always creepy
Contains Spoilers… Sorry folks,
First Omen was billed as “The most terrifying movie of the year”, I’d beg to differ. While it wasn’t horrible, First Omen was pretty bad. But it had its moments.
First off this seems more like Rosemary’s Baby meets Aliens. With the whole trial and error thing. They stuck to the source material LOOSELY and I use loosely… erm… ummm loosely. I always find it amazing when directors take dope source material and stick it up. When it stuck to the foundation, The First Omen shined. When it drifted away from the source material is representative of all the places where the movie sucked. Like the whole going to a club with a newfound convent thot to test Margaret’s (Nell Tiger Free) faith, that whole storyline was trash. Also, another deviation I did not care for is in the original Omen Damien was born from a Jackal. Which is pretty scary right? Well in this The First Omen he is born from a woman a regular woman by way of some date rape type goings on with a dude from the club that oh by PLOT TWIST, he is in on it. Also, the writers stripped all the prophecy aspects out of the whole franchise in one swipe of the pen. Then replaced it with some hare-brained scheme by a dark sector of the church to get the world back into the church by hooking Beelzebub up with some drunk chick. Since when does the Prince of Darkness need to be hooked up like some freshman at a fraternity party? I swear I was expecting to see Scooby-Doo and her Shaggy say “Zoinks” as they unmask the devil as we find out it was the maid the whole time. Yes, the story got that predictable.
The actors did shine in this one and while the execution sucked the story was aaight. I would not say this was scary in the least. But it is creepy as all get out. But then again old churches and nuns are inherently creepy. Then add some singing kids, and you ratchet up the creepy factor by at least 10 points. The CGI was kinda iffy in parts but the moody, dark cinematography was on point.
The hood gives this one 2.5 EBTs. If you are a fan of the franchise maybe wait for this one on streaming platforms. It just may piss you off.